3 Mistakes Music Student Parents Should Avoid

Having taught music lessons in the WNC area for well over a decade, we've seen a thing or two in regards to how parents relate to their children, especially in regards to their music education! You can have skilled, experienced instructors, a child with a ton of talent, and the money to fund a lifetime of private music lessons and still come out of the whole experience with NOTHING to show for it.

HOW DO YOU AVOID THIS?

Needless to say, every parent/child relationship is different, so there is no secret weapon. But we have compiled a list of 3 things parents have done over the years that hindered the progress of their budding musicians, and ways to avoid them!

3. OVER COMMITTED SCHEDULE! You can't do it all!

As adults, we've learned that we can't do it all. We need to teach this to our kids! For example: A day in the life of "Sally": Wake at 6:15, eat breakfast, get dressed, 7:30 rush off to school for 8 hours, get picked up at 3:00, rush to dance from 3:30-5:00, go home, eat at 6:00, do homework for 2 hours, bathe at 8:00, and now, after everything is done, and she's about to collapse, she's expected, at 10 years old, to have the maturity to drag her tired self upstairs, pick up that new, awkward thing YOU got her for her birthday, and struggle through new and confusing information while exhausted? Most adults wouldn't even do that! And that's not even a day where there is church, or a ballgame her brother has to attend. When exactly was she supposed to practice? In the car on the way home? We've heard a variety of excuses from habitually unprepared students explaining why they didn't/couldn't practice, and for the most part, the excuses are LEGITIMATE! Which brings us to our next common mistake...

2. Fail to plan - Plan to fail!

Most couples when planning to marry, spend more time planning their wedding than the actual marriage. No wonder there is a 50% and rising divorce rate in America. In a similar way, signing up for music lessons is way easier than actually practicing several nights a week and learning the instrument. We've seen a lot of folks throw their money away because they FAIL TO PLAN! We tell folks when they sign up "You're not just signing up for one day a week! You're signing up for seven!" You have to "on purpose" look at your schedule, and decide WHEN you're kid CAN practice this instrument...or else you..

1. Give them responsibility they can't handle!

I can't tell you how many times I've cringed at a parent embarrassing their child in the following way: At the end of the lesson, they appear at the door, and ask "how are they doing"??? Of course we'll be honest, and if they need to practice more we'll say so! Then the parent turns around, (in front of the instructor and others in the lobby possibly) and scolds the child for not practicing! The parent should already know whether the child has been practicing or not. We understand busy lifestyles, this is 2011 after all. But know what you're getting into when you sign up! A 10 year old kid typically does not have the maturity to plan and schedule practicing. Please help them! Be on THEIR side! There are going to be times they don't feel like it, help them learn to do it when they feel like it or not! Stay on top of them, but do it in a loving way. Often we see parents punishing instead of instructing. It's not fair to expect out of them what they've not been taught, or what they've not seen us as parents model!

So, in a nutshell, make sure you and your child really have the time to commit to such an undertaking, and help them plan and stay accountable to their practice schedule! You and them will be happy, and you'll hear some music before long!



Jim Beaver's Music Studios is Hendersonville's premier school of music, offering lessons on a variety of instruments. Click here to visit our full website!